HIPPEUS HEROES AND GENERALS HACKS CRACK

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the ’80s is irrelevant.You support states’ rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have a right to adopt.The public has a right to know about Hillary’s cattle trades, but George Bush’s driving record is none of our business.Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense.Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush’s daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a “we can’t find Bin Laden” diversion.Global warming and tobacco’s link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.Providing health care to all Americans is socialism. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy.HMOs and insurance companies have the interest of the public at heart.A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won’t have sex.

Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans’ benefits and combat pay.Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

A woman can’t be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

“Standing Tall for America” means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.

HIPPEUS HEROES AND GENERALS HACKS CRACK

Government should relax regulation of Big Business and Big Money but crack down on individuals who use marijuana to relieve the pain of illness.The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N.Then it’s an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you’re a conservative radio host.

Hippeus heroes and generals hacks